I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
