Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
