i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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