Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
