I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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