I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
