Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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