This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
