i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
