i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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