you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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