you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Randomize
