We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My breasts were aching with rage.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
