Everything about him screamed your future.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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