Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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