His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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