I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize