ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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