I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
