Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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