She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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