Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
