the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
