Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
