FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
