my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
