I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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