I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
