you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
