how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
