god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
