I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
What a dumb baby whore.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
