If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
