im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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