Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize