Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
