It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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