I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
