break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
