Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize