Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's shark week go big or go home
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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