We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
