It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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