I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
