Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize