I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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