and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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