i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize