I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
