dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
