I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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