You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
