dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize