Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize