Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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