That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
