Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize