He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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