Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
