I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
