Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
